Vaginal Rejuvenation

Vaginal rejuvenation is on the rise. More women are willing to sacrifice vaginal pleasure in order to have a prepubescent looking vagina. In our culture, a hairless "little girl" like vagina is what is seen over and over in the porn industry. What is that doing to the rest of the viewers? It is having an extreme affect on how women view themselves and their vaginas. We must remember that there are many different types of vaginas, just like thereare many different shapes and sizes to a penis. We all are different-- our faces, height, hair texture/color-- so what makes our society think that there should be an ideal vagina. Obviously, this cannot be attained by every woman.

The picture above demonstrates how many different vaginas there really are. It is sad because this cosmetic procedure is not intended to increase sexual pleasure. The sole purpose of this procedure is to deem a vagina "attractive". It can cause painful scarring and nerve damage that impedes sexual function (i.e. make the vulva painfully hypersensitive or numb). Never the less, the demand for these procedures are increasing.

What is this procedure exactly? The procedure involves either tightening of the vagina, removing of the inner lips if they exceed the outer, removing the clitoral hood, and pretty much anything to make the vagina more attractive by the patients standards. It is really sad that the patients will go through with these procedures when they could possibly lose sensitivity. To me this would be the worst thing that could happen. This also demonstrates that they are not really doing these procedures for themselves-- since they are willing to give up their pleasure-- they are more focused on how they look to their sexual partner.

Breaking Upwards... how to deal with a break-up!

Everybody knows that going through a break up is one of the hardest things to go through. You dedicate your time and give your heart to someone and then all of a sudden that person is not in your life anymore. Some of the ways that I get through a difficult break up is by surrounding myself with a close group of friends or by getting out of town to visit my family. By doing these things you really see what is important in life and what true happiness feels like. You begin to cloud your thoughts with positivity instead of over thinking what went wrong in your relationship.

After reading through many different articles on how to deal with a break up.

I found a couple sure fire ways to help that heart break heal and get your mind clear to move ahead with your life. The important aspect to remember throughout a break up is YOU!

* Think through everything, but not obsessively. It is important that

you thoughts are thinking about the situation, but that you are not overanalyzing everything.Think about it and then let it go.

*Don't rethink your decision. You obviously made the decision for a good reason. If you start to rethink about all the good times, your mind could erase all the bad. Make a decision and stick with it.

*Keep your space. As a couple, being around each other all the time becomes very familiar. It is very important to keep your space right after a break up. If you and your partner still keep in contact then it is almost as if you are still together. If you want to become friends, still give each other space to grieve and move past how you both "used" to be.

*Cope with pain appropriately. Make sure that you deal with a break up in a positive manner. Instead of drinking your sorrows away, meet with friends and talk

about it.

* Talk to your friends. It is important to discuss with your friends how you are feeling. It reminds you of all the positivity in your life. They love you and you love them. This is one of the best ways to realize the importance of your life. Your friendships.

*Get your feelings out. When dealing with a break up I enjoy painting and writing. Whatever way you feel is best to get your feelings out in a constructive way, you should do it! You will feel so much better after being able to express how you feel, and maybe create a masterpiece while your at it!

* Out with the old and in with the new. You might find an occasional m

emory throughout your room. It is a good idea to clean up your space in order to fully immerse yourself with what is ahead of you. I know from experience, when finding an old love note those old feelings start to rush back. Not saying you should throw anything away, but definitely put it in a place where you can part ways with it until you have completely moved on.

* Find happiness. When you go through a break up it is easy to get sucked into a depressive negative state. You must seek happiness in every aspect of your life. Do things that you enjoy doing. It is extremely important to not let yourself sink too deep over one individual. There are many things to explore, people to meet, and opportunities to grasp. You must remember that.

No matter how you look at it, a break up will be difficult. I hope these helpful tips on how to deal with a break up will inspire creativity and a step in the right direction. It is a process, so don't expect this to happen overnight. Just make sure you look at yourself as an individual and all the great qualities that you posses. This will help you move on and help you realize what a spectacular individual you are. The key is YOU... who do YOU want to be?

Healthy Components of a GOOD Relationship!

When two people get into a relationship it is important to remember that nobody is perfect and that each individual must work at it to make it the best relationship possible. Yes, couples do get in arguments and have ups and downs, but it truly comes down to how they solve their conflicts. Couples must be up front and honest with each other when a budding romance develops. So I have included a eight wonderful steps in maintaining a good relationship.

1. Be aware of what you and your partner want for yourselves and what you want from the relationship.
2. Let one another know what your needs are.
3. Realize that your partner will not be able to meet all your needs. Some of these needs will have to be met outside of the relationship.
4. Be willing to negotiate and compromise on the things you want from one another.
5. Do not demand that a partner change to meet all your expectations. Work to accept the differences between your ideal mate and the real person you are dating.
6. Try to see things from the other's point of view. This doesn't mean that you must agree with one another all the time, but rather that both of you can understand and respect each other's differences, points of view, and separate needs.
7. Where critical differences do exist in your expectations, needs, or opinions, try to work honestly and sincerely to negotiate. Seek professional help early rather than waiting until the situation becomes critical.
8. Do your best to treat your partner in a way that says, "I love you and trust you, and I want to work this out."

When reflecting on these eight steps on maintaining a good relationship it is clear that the most important aspect of maintaining a good relationship is communication. If you set up expectation at the beginning of the relationship, it will likely remain successful because you and your partner will have developed expectations and set up ground rules for your relationship. If couples are on completely different levels in their relationship, it will likely fail. For instance, if someone wants to be exclusive in the relationship and the other person wants to have an open relationship. That shows that they are on different levels which concludes that this partnership will not work unless they compromise.

Gay Marriage Controversy

Gay marriage is a very controversial topic to discuss. Everybody has their own opinion on the matter. I am certainly very opinionated on the subject matter because it seems so ridiculous. I recently watched this video of a man named Zach Whals raised by two women. He turned out to be "normal" by societies standards of normal. So what is the problem? What are people so concerned about with regards to gay marriage?

A lot of concern seems to be with the idea of two men or two women raising children. I don't think that if two women or two men raise a child the child will receive insufficient love or be raised in an environment not conducive to a healthy upbringing. To me a healthy family is one that loves each other and is there for each other in good times and bad times. I recently read a study about how lesbian parents are actually extremely loving, perhaps more loving than heterosexual parents. Also in this study, they discovered that there are no repercussions for children living in a home with homosexual parents.

With all these studies proving that gay marriage/parents are not a threat to the well-being of society, you would think that by this day and age we could move past our heteronormative attitudes. But no, we are still bashing these good parents and lovers from doing something that they feel is right. I truly believe that someday soon, especially with our generation growing and achieving political power, gay marriage and parenthood will be finally accepted. It is not like they are asking for anything crazy or out of the ordinary, all they are asking for is equal rights! Not superior but also not less than. I don't think that is asking for too much.

Drag Queen's Becoming Mainstream?

Ru Paul is without a doubt the most well-known Drag Queen. Her show, Ru Paul's Drag Race, is a competition (similar to America's Next Top Model) on who will be the next drag superstar! The deeper question is, is this exploiting Drag Queens in a negative way or is it shedding light on a community which was once not talked about?

It is so progressive for television to have a show dedicated to Drag Queens. The show reveals the inside scoop of what goes into becoming a Drag Queen-- padding, make-up, clothes, waxing, etc. It is showing real men who are dressing up and performing as women. The reason people think it could be negative is because they are used for the amusement of viewers to either make fun of or to bond with. When you really think about it, what reality show doesn't do that? Hetero-normative reality shows are used just the same as Queer shows are, such as Ru Paul's Drag Race.

Either way you want to look at it, the word is getting out there. The show has been said to make people feel that they are a part of a community. For instance, if a little boy who loves to dress up as a woman feels alone because he truly doesn't know what is wrong with him. He can look up to Ru Paul and see that there are other people just like him. The show brings such positivity in that respect. It truly reveals to the masses that Drag Queens do exist and that they are real human beings that love to dress up and nothing is wrong with it. It makes it normal. Which is how it should be. After all, we as humans are the one's that created clothes to have a specific gender affiliation. Who is to say that make-up and dresses are a feminine attire, we do. If we just get rid of gender stereotyping clothes then there would be no such thing as drag, and it would be seen as normal.

"We are all born naked, and the rest is drag!"- Ru Paul

How To Use A Condom Correctly

Sex can be very natural. Your body somehow tells you exactly what to do if you let it. Some may think that condoms are the same way-- that you just know exactly how to put one on. FALSE! The reason why condoms don't work most of the time in preventing pregnancy and STD's is because of incorrect use. Incorrect use can cause slippage of the condom and breakage. I will provide a step by step instruction on how to put on a condom correctly, while also explaining why each step is crucial in maintaining a safe sex practice.

Step One: Check to make sure that there is a little bit of air while the condom is in the wrapper. If there is not a little bit of air in the wrapper before it is opened then that means that there could be a puncture in the packaging, which makes it un-useable. Think of it as a bottled drink, if you don't hear the bottle pop when you open it then it is not good.

Step Two: Check the expiration date. If it's past the expiration date, it's no longer useable. Sure it looks like it normally does, but would you drink milk after it's way past the expiration date? I don't think so.

Step Three: Push the condom to the side of the wrapper and open it. The reason you want to push the condom to one side when you are opening it is because you don't want to tear the condom in the process of opening the wrapper. When opening... DO NOT USE YOUR TEETH! That could also tear the condom.

Step Four: Make sure that you have the condom facing the right way before you start putting it on. The way that you can tell is by seeing if it looks like a sombrero.

Step Five: Pinch the tip! This is very important because if you do not pinch the tip of the condom you haven't sufficiently gotten all the air out of the condom which can cause breakage.

Step Six: Roll down the condom on the erect penis while pinching the tip. If you are using two hands to roll down the condom that means that you are not pinching the tip, which means you are allowing air to be in the condom.

Step Seven: Removal of the condom. It is very important that the penis still erect when removing the condom. If it is not then there is more of a possibility of semen leaking out. After you are finished with the condom it is common courtesy to tie a knot at the end of the condom.

Sex Education

Last semester I started going to a couple different High Schools in San Francisco to provide information about safe sex to teenagers through the San Francisco Department of Public Health. After being immersed in the High School atmosphere, it made me reflect upon my own sex education and how we can improve sex education for curious minds of the future. Currently, you can either get abstinence-only-until-marriage or comprehensive sex education. So which method do you think is themost effective?

Many argue that abstinence-only-until-marriage education is very effective-- specifically according to our former President Bush who instilled this type of education in our schools-- because it prohibits sex before marriage which should be an easy answer to un-planned teen pregnancies, STD infections, and rape. There is only one problem, it doesn't actually work. Even though parents, schools, and the government are trying to control pre-marital sex. The answer to this is not to teach abstinence, it should be to teach understanding.

Comprehensive sex education has proven to be more effective than abstinence-only education. Adolescents are going to make their decisions either way. If you tell them over and over again not to do something, chances are the curiosity will be peeked and they will want to try it.

We have to understand that people are going to have sex. After all, it is human nature to want to. By teaching adolescents how to have a positive relationship and how to practice safe sex, we are giving them tools to make the decision to have sex or not to. We are not advocating teens having sex. All that comprehensive sex education is doing is providing beneficial information to people who are worthy of rightful information to keep them safe. The common misconception with comprehensive sex education is that by teaching adolescents about safe sex, they are more likely to participate in sexual activity. That is false because adolescents will participate in sexual activity regardless of if we provide safe sex information or not.

If you are ever faced with inquisitive adolescent minds regarding sexuality, it is best to be as honest as possible. Look back on when you were in High School, I am sure you knew more than your parents gave you credit for. You were probably not as oblivious as we like to think teens are. So, be open and honest and answer questions in an educational way.